I dont have to

I know they mean well, thing is I feel there is a difference, between someone giving you advice to let you decide, and someone who tells you and constantly acts like you need it,

At least in my case I dont tell people shit cause they are fucked up, I just express my opinion, in the end what works for me, might not work for you. Some people's lives work just fine as they screw others over, some cant cause the guilt eats them up.

Anyway that aint why Im writing, in my opinion I feel that acting like someone needs it, goes hand in hand with judgement,

I mean who are we to say anyone NEEDS anything?

I feel I dont need anything, I want money yet I dont need it, If and If I want to do certain things in my life, I require money to make it happen, but in the end there is always a choice, I can be homeless, if it got that far.

I got into an argument once because I told my boss I dont feel I HAVE to do anything, I feel I do things because I choose to, and want to.

He and I got into a big argument, it was safe, nothing crazy, just regular guys arguing loud and shit, making people uncomfortable like you gonna fight, but then go to the bathroom and to be continued.

anyway I told him I dont have to work, I choose to, because I could go work somewhere else if I hated my job, I dont HAVE to deal with anything, he didnt agree with none of this,

but what pissed him off was when he said, "there are obligations in life", like taking care of your kids,

and I said, "you dont have to take care of your kids", well he went kinds nuts, saying how could it be, its responsibility, and I said

"I wouldnt take care of my kids cause I have to, but because I love them and want to"

I said" I dont have to, I can abandon them and go live somewhere else, I can give them up for adoption, I can choose to do many things, instead of taking an obligation.

I dont know how I got here with this blog, but it felt good to write about it.

truth

we live a lie,
because we fear the truth,
ask your wife

she'd rather take more of your shit,
give up control
give up her soul
than find out you got your dick in  another hole

ask your dad,
he'll get mad
avoid the pain,
risk going insane,
before admitting his own brother crawled in his daughter's bed

ask your sister,
she'd rather live an illusion,
through the confusion
then confess she saw your mother with another man

we deal with pain by covering it up
when does it stop?

Leo and Milly(scene)

“why did you call me here for?” Leo said,he was sitting down in a dennys,

“we haven’t talked in a while”Milly said, she fell in love with him,Leo is her pimp

“I wanna keep it that way,there is only one thing I wanna hear you say and that’s I got it”he said,

“what happened?you used to be nice to me,then after she came along,you act like its just business”Milly said,

“that’s how its always been, you just opening your eyes now,I hope you didn’t think I was gonna come here and some magical shit was gonna go down,and we was gonna walk out holding hands”

Milly looked up at him now “I know you love me,that’s why you haven’t gotten rid of me,”

Laughing he says “bitch I love you so much I fucked you wit a used condom”

“you will never forget me”-she shot herself in the stomach,

All he heard was a loud groan from milly as she hunched over and grabbed for his hands,someone screamed, and Milly said “im pregnant”

Ray and Lynn(scene)

"I didnt know you came around here"Lynn said,

"first time here"Ray said

"you've been missing out"Lynn said

"on what?"Ray said

"living,Ray,living"Lynn got closer and sat next to him,"you know this might be the first time I see you without Johnny being around"

"yeah"Ray said

"you'd think we woulda hang out before,"lynn said

"where is Johnny?"Ray said

"i dont know,and I dont care right now"Lynn said,she touched his arm,"you wanna buy me a drink?"

"what do you drink?"Ray asked

"Sex....on the beach"she stared at him

"alright,listen you gonna finish this drink alone cause Im heading out soon,HEY LET ME GET A SEX ON THE BEACH,I got some shit to do"Ray said

"that's too bad,how come you came here alone"Lynn said Ray didnt answer he just made a face

"got sick of the wife?"she said

"wife's fine"Ray said

"not fine enough for you to take her out"Lynn smiled

Ray took a drink,thought about what to say and"I dont like her mixing up with whores"

"but is ok for you?"Lynn said...



(this is some dialogue I came up with today for some in between stuff in my story for Johnny Black)