I know

I know she loves me,

I see it in her eyes,

they speak to me,

through them, I can see blue skies,

they listen to me,

through them I realize,

she loves me,

they see through the lies,

she misses me,

I can hear it in her voice,

she laughed with me,

my favorite noise,


even on the phone,

I can hear her smile,

I offer my own,

longing to reconcile,


she paints love all over me,

I know she is pain,

I know she is afraid,

I am too...

"187,10-56"

"I heard a shot"


There were three of them,
A girl and two men,

I only knew the girl,
I seen her around,
Met her downtown,

Today though,
She was unrecognizable,
No light in her eyes,
she passed me by,

The two men,
waited by her car,
I was just getting to the bar,


I heard a shot...
I looked up,


She stood over one of the men,
with a gun, pointed at the second,
It took just a second...

she shot him in the throat,
blood splashed all over her coat,


She got in her car,
I walked out,
people were screaming,
she was looking at me now,


She put the gun in her mouth....

so easy to judge

So easy to judge,

Seems like no one judges more than the church going man,

No one else gives a damn,

Maybe they do,

But no one else uses the book to fucking justify it,

Now I never read the book, and all the shit I hear,

Makes me care less,

I rather live it up with queers,

Than change who I am to be “blessed”

Fuck all that,

Where is your heart at?

If God is all they say

Then how is damning true love okay?

How can I be capable of loving more than God?

What the fuck?

God created all men equal?

Yet there has to be separation, man and woman?

What about human beings?

So he created man and woman, not man and man?

How is that the argument here?

I mean I saw passion of the Christ he didn’t say shit about fags,

And when someone quotes some shit in the bible about homosexuality, its always some matthew or some other dude, Jesus didn’t seem to have to many objections, I mean best of my knowledge his dad’s the one that made the list,

In the end its about the book,

I mean is it that hard to believe that someone would play your fears to get you on their side?

I mean if it was me having a problem with two women magically fucking, and I said “that’s wrong”

You say “why?” shit why is it wrong?....

Since the beginning of time, people and fucking me!!! Love being right! So why?

Well because um….God made man and woman!

Because if you love someone truly! With all your heart, and honor them! And give a child that no one else wanted true and deserving love! But you are of the same sex, well, you are going to motherfucking hell!!

No? you don’t believe me? Well…. Then it’s because God said so! That’s why!

Prey on God fearing men!

 Shit if I want something done, are you gonna do it because I tell you? Or because I tell you there are consequences if you don’t?

I read something that bothered me today, and this is me venting, because Jesus said it’d be good for me,

Anyway, I guess I’m judging all of you too,

I love all you racist mother fucking homophobes! Most of you are in my family anyway!

"where am I going?"

 

Where am I going?

I’m listening…

Inside there’s always a battle,

Mind and heart,

Tearing each other apart,

My mind protecting,

My heart going for it,

My mind in the past,

My heart here and now,

In the end none of them lets go,

can’t let go of the past,

cant let go of what I want now,

my mind lives in what I lived,

my heart for what I want to live

no matter what, my heart accelerates, when I get closer,

I know I’m getting closer, my fear grows,

I ask why, and no one fucking knows,

I know I’m getting there,

Thing is, I still don’t know where I’m going

written by: Frank Hannen-Pantaleon

 

pain

pain...




fear of pain, takes me to do anything...



anything to avoid it,



pain of shame, pain of love, pain of failing,



physical pain,



fear's all the same,



even in my dreams, pain is the main character,



gets all the attention,



I live my life in full protection,



robbing my self of so many experiences,



supposedly avoiding consequences,



yet suffering the biggest one of all,



not living....



written by: Frank Hannen-Pantaleon



.

from the soul

It starts in the soul...



dances around in my heart,



and flies through, all the way to my fingertips,



and my poetry is born,



born to touch,



born to mark,



to relieve my feelings...



written by: Frank Hannen-Pantaleon

love and doubt

I’m just letting the music take me…
Jia Pen Fang plays while I write,
It’s 2 am, and love and doubt go hand in hand in my thoughts
my conscience and heart fought,

my heart and my conscience,
love and doubt,
my heart led with love, my conscience backed out with doubt,

sometimes it makes a comeback, with fear, and fear, will fear love so much
it would hide clouding my heart, with screams of pain, pain that hadn’t even happened yet.
My heart would speak to Doubt and Fear, Fear would get louder,
My heart would shout, and Fear would confuse love with anger,

And my heart would suffer my conscience’s fears they would all become true,

until my heart decided to listen to my doubts, and offer love,

and did what I never wanted, it accepted fear into my heart, as  part of it.

Now as my heart has offered love to fear, fear will stop screaming,

and most days…well we all listen to each other…

written by: Frank Hannen-Pantaleon

morning battle

He closed his eyes,




as if getting lost in the music,



listening to the melody of his soul,

as he held his sword,



and to him, his sword...is his soul




the sunlight strikes the edge of the weapon,



as he slowly dances with the steel,



the leaves sway around as if avoiding him,



an invisible enemy is repeatedly slayed,



his eyes still closed, his mind in rewind,

to the time he was betrayed,



the here and now, becomes a fantasy,

the steel, shines through the air,

rain falls, becoming blood, in his mental battle,



He slows down, prepares for one last strike,



and opens his eyes...




written by: Frank Hannen-Pantaleon

Romeo and Juliet

Whoever did it,
Knows you
And she doesn't regret
It


She did it out of anger
Cause you left her

Shattered her heart
After you swore
You'd never be apart

Walked away
After promising to love her,
'till the end of days

Now you know why

You shoulda seen it in her eyes

And now...

You sit,
Tied to a chair
Smell of gasoline,
Fills the air

You hear the shower running

She's getting ready

There's an empty chair next to you

She comes out of the bathroom smiling,

In a robe,and you see the box of matches

The artist

I just recently realized

I am an artist

One of those who paints,

I paint smiles everyday

It fills me with...well something

Good,

Thing is last night I found out

I also know how to paint sadness

Frowns and when I'm very passionate,

Hatred!

Its all in me I have this gifted curse

When I'm happy magic happens,

When I'm angry tears flow,

And hearts sing in agony

The better I feel,

Well...the happier the ending

I can either be the white peaceful

Clouds taking the shape of your

Dreams or I can be the dark cloud

Ready to sadden your day...


I think i'll make the best of it

And paint a rainbow in the sky...

I wonder...

when will the time come?

the time for me,

to do what I want, act on it, be who I wanna be,

the time is now,

time to act now, be now,

its in me, I deserve it,

time to go

The Choice

They made a choice,

One last suffering,

one last offering,

for the pain was too much to bear,

and no one else would care,

The time had come,

and there were some,

who still painted them with guilt,

treated them as filth.

They were young,

but breathed in the guilt,

deep into their lungs.

The unforgiven,

the forsaken

regretting the life they had taken.

Even in their dreams,

they heard the baby’s screams.

And on a day like today,

the pain went away,

they joined hands,

jumped off the stools,

their shadows danced over the sand…

written by: Frank Hannen-Pantaleon

victim

time after time, things keep happening,
no one knows the reason

we look to blame
we search in vain,
quick to say another's name

never willing to look within
to see the answer is always there,
inside us,
no need to fuzz
because,
when the time comes,

we made the choice
we put up with the noise
we went out with the boys

she is mad,
then glad,
when you feel guilty
see in the end, it's filthy

that we all want the other to feel blame,

you want her responsible,
she wants you responsible

to some it's impossible to see,
that we are all accountable

that no one is excused
not even the abused,

we all play a part,
in us growing apart,

its just easier,
much easier,
to put it all on someone else,
and never yourself,

to live as if,
life is a gift,

where everything...happens to us,

you gotta be realistic

"you gotta be realistic"

I hear this a lot, people telling me, thinking its gonna get me to think "ok" yeah what I say sounds good, but(but is like saying fuck it), when you say but, you might as well forget about everything you said before, you want an example?

I love you but...

hey I know you are busy but...

I'm sorry I woke you but..

the truth comes after but, so...when people say they like what I'm saying but, I know their truth is what comes next

I say "you can do anything you want, everything is possible, you want to have your own business? shit that's awesome, you can do it, just focus on what YOU want, I know it might take time, you can start now though"

then I get, "yeah it's what I want, it's my dream but, I gotta be realistic"

now what if my reality is your fantasy? I see possible what you see as unreachable, I mean there are things I might see as out of reach, yet someone else might say you got it, just reach out and grab it.

Now you can be right about your "reality" because if you dont do what you gotta do to make it happen, then your reality remains, yet if you do what you've never done, to get what you've never had, then YOU make your own reality.

Thing is, no matter what you do, a big decision means a big sacrifice, sacrifice can go from moving, to having people criticize you, think you dont't love them, and even leaving those who love you, the tricky part is to no matter what, be happy with your decision, because it's about your dream. It's not about being selfish, it's about loving yourself.

I used to think my dream was out of reach, that being realistic meant I wasn't gonna make it, I wouldn't be able to sell my script, it wasn't good enough, and I was right, because I didn't do shit.

Now this is my reality,
I want to, wait no, I'm committed to selling my movie script, then I'm gonna win an oscar for one of my screenplays, it was my dream, and I made a decision to make it my reality, and as long as I take action, I'm on the way,

I can easily give up though, not send it out, and the reality can be the opposite, I can be right either way, depending on how I go about it,sure it might not happen, difference is, instead of thinking what if it don't happen, I'm thinking,

what if it does?

no limit

I stopped writing for the sake of rhyme a long time ago,

my lines can now live without the previous,


my writing has deeper goals,
my writing comes from the soul now,
my writing has deeper meaning,
my writing will leave you, if you fail to catch on,
my writing will no longer rely on explaining the obvious.


I sit here, side to side with fear,
fear of getting lost,
in my newfound glory
where I've realized the power of my story.


no one can tell me the ending,
because in my world,
the end is forever pending.


in my world I welcome endless possibilities
in my world there is no end to my abilities


I am everyone,

I am everything...